Awareness…

My friend showed me this blog about a mom writing about her son allergic to eggs(http://thekarmacallingblog.blogspot.com/2008/11/pat-cake-pat-cake.html). It hit a nerve and kind of got me started on this post which I wanted to write for some time now. Do’s and Don’t when you meet with someone who has allergies or parents with allergic kids. I also want to use this post to answer some of the most common questions we have faced. Let me tell you, how we reacted to them would have been totally dependent on the kind of day we had with Avy. Some times these questions makes it harder for us to deal with the whole thing and while other times its helps us get our feelings out. I also feel that the more the people know the awareness spreads.

Common FAQ’s:

1) How did he get this or from where did he get this? – Allergies can be from the environment or from our genes. The science is still divided on this. With Avyukt, the case is that his body perceives the protein in these foods as enemies and gears up his body to attack them. In the last year we have spent so much time in retrospection and trying to find answers as to why he got it and the answer is not so easy. However thinking back it brought back memories of childhood allergies and/or other dermatological issues we , his parents had. I mean we certainly did not expect Avyu to have any as none of our childhood allergies lasted till adulthood.. My dad had a milk intolerance when he was kid, my brother and I suffered from various kind of synthetic, detergent allergies when we were kids, I was allergic to tomatoes for the longest time, Ajit (Avy’dad) suffers from eczema which is also related to allergies. I am still allergic to heat and sunlight , I know hard to believe. I get huge rashes when exposed directly to sun for a long period of time, but wearing sunscreen helps most of the days.  I guess a combination of these is what probably resulted in his allergies.

2) Asking “Will he ever become alright”? or saying “Don’t worry it will go away soon”..- I hope so too. But it is highly unlikely that it will in the near future. And telling us it will go away soon doesn’t make us feel any better as we know deep down that it probably isn’t going to happen. As I said in my previous posts, people helping us manage our lives with and being empathetic is the kind of support we need. Also if anyone comes across any other information that you think will help us, please feel free to forward it to me. I had a friend tell me about potential systemic reasons for us to look into. Any info is appreciated!! A big shout out to Ram and Poornema our friends we visited this past weekend…they cooked everything, all weekend to be ‘Avy friendly’, without us even asking. It meant a lot to us, to share the table with him and give him things from our plate. Thanks so so much!!

3) “Can he try a little bit, I am sure a little bit will not hurt”- ABSOLUTELY NOT!! He suffers with stomach pain, hives, rashes, just plain itching sometimes even if I consume it and traces of it crosses into his bloodstream through breast milk. More importantly the only way to his recovery (long-term) is keeping him allergen free in the hopes that his body will reset and hopefully when introduced later will accept it. Having said this, we as parents are not perfect either. Last weekend , we happened to give him a piece of chapati with probably traces of ghee. It was followed by an urgent dose of Benadryl and hours of restlessness hoping nothing would happen. I could barely sleep, I kept looking at him to see if he gets any swelling or other reactions. Luckily, it ended with a tummy ache only. I am staying off all the things he cannot have either for now, and I may give him company for the longest time possible, so people understanding that what I am doing for him makes me stronger. 

4) “What will you do if it never goes away?”- Nothing…:) Live my life the happiest way possible and come up with more and more tasty alternatives for him. Life has so much to offer. I have my days when I feel so upset about this, but I buck up and say there is more to life than Milk 🙂

The one place I differ from the author of the other blog is that, I always make sure I am prepared when I take my son out, if it is a birthday party, I bake a cake for him,  if it is a party at his daycare, I inquire in advance of the menu and make sure he has alternatives if not, I would make some for him. maybe it stems from the little control freak in me, but I want to be prepared no matter what. I also get that no one else would care for him as much as I do 🙂 I am sure every mom out there would agree. No one really wants their kid to be different, and by growing up in this country they are different to begin with. I try my best to even out these other difference. I am sure as he gets older it is going to get harder, since he may not agree to the alternatives I provide/make and I can cross that bridge when it comes. For now, he is as excited to eat the ones I baked for him….

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5 Comments

  1. parisal said,

    April 30, 2010 at 10:07 pm

    Love the new look 🙂
    And great post. I would never have thought of all these social scenarios that you need to consider and react to. There is so much to learn and know.

  2. Nive said,

    May 1, 2010 at 2:56 am

    Hey, I am glad the link helped. That is a lot of planning/reacting and thinking that you guys have to go through. Will defn keep your pointers in mind…

  3. Seena said,

    January 20, 2011 at 12:54 pm

    well written..will come again to ur blog to read the rest…


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