Letter to my son!

Dear Avyukt,

Wish you many many more happy returns of the day, my dear son! Son- what a Pandora of emotions that single word bring about in the mind, as I am writing this letter to you today, on your birthday. It has been the most wonderful, the most fulfilling, the hardest, the wackiest, the most joyful, the most painful, the most eye-opening, and the best two years of my life. In spite of sounding clichéd today is not only your second birthday about also two years since I have embarked on this life fulfilling journey.

A little flashback- See when I was pregnant I was convinced that I was carrying a girl. But in that ultra sound room when they told me that I had a tiny little man growing inside of me, it suddenly dawned upon me, the possibility of sharing one of the most precious bond in this world that of the mother and son, and that my son has been reinforced again and again each day in the last two years.

Deciding your name was such a pleasure. I made lists and lists and lists, and finally decided on this name only about 10 days before you were born, guess when I found the name I knew it was it. You are so much an Avyukt, an Avy. J. It helps now that it is the easiest name to roll on the tongues of all your little playmates, and when their mom’s tell me that their kids keeping calling your name at home, I have no idea why, but I do feel a little proud.

You when born were obviously attached to me for the best knows reasons- food and sleep.  But then the good part of the first 1.5 years of your life you were such a Daddy’s boy. You were the best source of inspiration, happiness, and light at the end of the tunnel in an otherwise hard situation in our lives. You can make that big man into a puddle with your slightest smile. You would always go to him first, you would want him to carry you around, and refuse to come to me also during that time. He made you laugh the most, capable of doing the silliest things, and it made you adore him more.  Your face would light up at the mention of his name, or appa. He taught you the letters of the alphabets, Tamil syllables, slokas, and rhymes- all on the car ride to and from your day care. You still wield an iron hand over him. That man, can never say no to you. A diaper change that takes 5 minutes with me would take 15 with him, a bath would take twice as much to0 (yesterday you were dabbing his hair with water as he was giving you a bath)- more fun!!!  You know how to smile, how to ask to get what you want. I come a very distant second to you, and it has never made me happier.

Before I tell you what you did to me and how we celebrated your second birthday, I want to tell you on what kind of kid you are. I would like to document forever on the joy that you are. You are such a sweet natured, happy and affectionate kid. Even when I was pregnant, every time doctor heard your sound they would say “Such a happy baby”. They probably said that to ALL pregnant moms, but in your case it is soo true. You are such a happy baby. When you were small and woke up in your crib, you would never cry, you would just whimper, and it made me wish on many days that you would cry loudly so that I can attend to you better.

You are a sucker for being clean and organized. You, even yesterday, told me to “wash the daep” (wash the grapes) before I gave it to you. You would take a wipe, and wipe everything in sight, including your tummy. You like putting your toys away, when asked. You keep your face, like the whole world just got away, if a single part of your alphabet puzzle is missing.

You love your routine, though you adjust pretty good with any changes, you are the happiest being at home with your routine intact, I think you have taken after me on this one. Even while I was pregnant, you would stop kicking by 10.00pm and would start up again 6.00am. You still kind of like that :). You go to bed on most days by 8.30 and wake up at 6.30. You like to eat, sleep at prescribed times, and that helps us a LOT!

Affectionate is the perfect term for you. You get upset at the slightest indication that anyone else is upset. You cannot see me have a sad face at all, it shatters your world. When a friend of ours, got a dump truck for you to play with, and it went and hit against your stuffed dog- Barclay- you got shocked. You went and hugged, and kissed Barclay’s boo boo away.  Even now when you fall, and we ask you to hit the floor in jest, you feel bad to do it and often times end up saying sorry to the floor.

You love cuddling, hugging. Now-a-days I see a little resistance creeping up, I wish you stay cuddly longer. What else is a mother to do?

You are such a shy person sweety. I think your stranger anxiety started really early. Initially, I really believed it to be a phase, but now I know it is your personality. You are exactly how your dad and I are.  Kind of reserved and shy with new people. But once you get to know them, you are so affectionate to them too. You always make it a point to share everything. Even if it is your favorite thing, you make it a point to give some to everyone in the house. I love this about you. But you just refuse to share your ball with next door kid Eddie, what is up with that????

I have been worried about you being this soft, shy person. I was worried about you being bullied as you grew up and worried if you would stand up for yourself, and in the last 3 weeks alone you have alleviated all my fears. The India trip has shown a different side of you. When kids bothered you time and time again, and coming to me and dad did not help, you stood up for yourself, held them by their shirts and took your toy back. Though I do no encourage fighting, was nice to see you stand up for yourself. But I would like to cut back on it and not take it out on poor innocent girls trying to hug you. DO NOT pull their hair out, like you did over the weekend with poor Tara.  I am happy that you did tell you’re sorry but I warn you, leave little girls alone!

Then, what else- yeah you are smart! You knew all your letters but the time you were 20 months, you can count till 20, know all your colors, know many many rhymes. Now you are becoming a puzzle monster and I love how to try and learn. Those kept you busy in the total 30 hour journey back from India.

Rhymes- OLD MACDONALD!! Your year two is not complete without writing about this song! This is the biggest influence in your life. You enjoying watching all different versions on youtube. It was restricted to the computer, but ever since your dad has shown it can be played on the TV, you coyly ask ‘Tv EIO?”. You LOVE animals, your face lights up the minute any animal or bird comes on the tv, or you see one in a book or magazine. I can keep you occupied for hours with books about animals and ever since your Venki Thatha got you those new books, you now know some exotic animals too.

I see your dad in you.  The inquisitive nature, the nature to find out what everything is. I am happy that your dad is there to take care of that, I am not sure I can keep up. I can hardly remember the stuff I have too.

In case you do not remember, you had a great party for your second birthday- Sesame Street themed, with the biggest Elmo. A Special thanks to Ram, Poornema, Tarun and Tara for making it so much more special. Our Daily Bread baked your delicious cake- Avy friendly version. It made me well up in tears that you could have this party, cut the same cake everyone could have. A year ago I thought it was not possible. You had fun, but more concerned about saving your Elmo from prying hands. Lovely friends visited up and got you special gifts. Thanks to everyone who came and made it such a special occasion.

Tara’s visit brings up yet another side of you. You spent all weekend pulling her hair when she was just trying to hug you, and yet yesterday evening before they left you were so sad. By the way, we were having fun kissing across the deck screen just for fun, and you kissed your Grandma first, then your dad, then me, and you called out for Tara and kissed her cheek, but then you wanted to get rid of the screen and kiss her, while she ran away, this made you very upset. Welcome to the real world, my son! You do not pull the hair of the girls you like!!!!!!!!!!!!!! So over the next year practice your skills to be a nicer boy :p 🙂

One other major thing this past year in your life the large presence of your grandparents. With someone or the other being here for the last six months have made you even more cheerful, healthy and happy.  In turn they adore you like you are the most intelligent kid on this earth. Now only, Rajee Patti is here and boy how much are you attached.  You LOVE her paruppu sadam, every time you see her, you ask “patti mamum”, no matter what time of the day it is. I am so scared to try and fill her shoes in two weeks.  You missed her so much after India trip that you went to her at 4am to sleep, when normally you would never leave my side. She has now opened up the world to story-telling for you, and it made me come up with random stories at 1am to get you to sleep (Did you all know that the crow also took part on the Hare and Tortoise race- that’s how groggy I was last night ). Thanks Patti!!!

Now to what you have done to me- You have made me whole. You made me realize my fullest potential. You motivate me, make me happy, and make to do unimaginable things. But for you, I do not think I would do as much as I do now, with my health being what it is. When people tell me, I cannot imagine how you do all this with your health, I just think of you. Yes, you have me wrapped around your little finger too, not just your dad. But I know your every cell, I know how you manipulate for anything. In spite of all that I cannot refuse your “Amma, Kokki” smile. A sucker for a cutey smile, is all I am.

 You are such a Mama’s boy now. You refuse to leave my side all the time. Though it is flattering it is hard sometimes. I do want you to feel safe with everyone. I love your face lighting up every time you see me, I love you waving good night to me, when I settle down for my afternoon nap, I love the care in your face when you tell your dad “Amma oova”, I love you supervising me when I go to take my medicine in the morning- like your checking on me and asking me “Amma, Mannu?”, I love how you take your medicines without troubling me a single bit, I love how you listen to me for anything- even while sitting on my lap to eat at the Indian functions and not touch anything, even though it was tempting, just because I said it was too hot, or it was only for older people, I love you smile, I love you bunny teeth laughter and everything about you sweety.

If there is one word anyone who sees you even for a little bit tells me is that you are chamathu (a good boy). But now I see the naughtiness creeping and I am gearing for what they call the terrible Twos. Are you ready for the ride my monster man?

Love,

Amma

P.S things for you to work on for next year: LOL

– do not pull kids hair when they try to hug you

– do not turn off the TV – please please

– do not take your dad’s side and tease me (actually do it is cute)

-do not refuse mommy kisses, I already miss them

-BE THE SAME!!!!!!!!!!!!!

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5 Comments

  1. antha said,

    September 8, 2010 at 9:47 am

    sooper! But I’m sure the coming years will bring about a different Avyukt. If he’s not naughty enoough I’ll send Adi to come and train him.

  2. Meena said,

    September 8, 2010 at 10:34 am

    Sweet son of a sweet mother,you were the same Anu.

  3. Telugumom said,

    September 8, 2010 at 11:00 am

    Very nice letter.

  4. parisal said,

    September 8, 2010 at 12:40 pm

    A lovely letter Anu! I can’t wait to see Avy’s reaction when he reads this years from now. 🙂

    A very very Happy B’day sweetie!

  5. Sumathi said,

    September 8, 2010 at 3:56 pm

    very sweet letter Anu..keep writing!! Avy wl be proud of his mom:)


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